J

J is a consonant in English, but some nations use it as a vowel --than which nothing could be more absurd.Its original form, which hasbeen but slightly modified, was that of the tail of a subdued dog, andit was not a

letter but a character, standing for a Latin verb,_jacere_, "to throw," because when a stone is thrown at a dog thedog's tail assumes that shape.This is the origin of the letter, asexpounded by the renowned Dr. Jocolpus Bumer, of the University ofBelgrade, who established his conclusions on the subject in a work ofthree quarto volumes and committed suicide on being reminded that thej in the Roman alphabet had originally no curl.

JEALOUS, adj.Unduly concerned about the preservation of that whichcan be lost only if not worth keeping.

JESTER, n.An officer formerly attached to a king's household, whosebusiness it was to amuse the court by ludicrous actions andutterances, the absurdity being attested by his motley costume.Theking himself being attired with dignity, it took the world somecenturies to discover that his own conduct and decrees weresufficiently ridiculous for the amusement not only of his court but ofall mankind.The jester was commonly called a fool, but the poets andromancers have ever delighted to represent him as a singularly wiseand witty person.In the circus of to- day the melancholy ghost of thecourt fool effects the dejection of humbler audiences with the samejests wherewith in life he gloomed the marble hall, panged thepatrician sense of humor and tapped the tank of royal tears.

The widow-queen of Portugal Had an audacious jester Who entered the confessional Disguised, and there confessed her.

"Father," she said, "thine ear bend down -- My sins are more than scarlet: I love my fool -- blaspheming clown, And common, base-born varlet."

"Daughter," the mimic priest replied, "That sin, indeed, is awful: The church's pardon is denied To love that is unlawful. "But since thy stubborn heart will be For him forever pleading, Thou'dst better make him, by decree, A man of birth and breeding."

She made the fool a duke, in hope With Heaven's taboo to palter; Then told a priest, who told the Pope, Who damned her from the altar!

Barel Dort

JEWS-HARP, n.An unmusical instrument, played by holding it fast withthe teeth and trying to brush it away with the finger.

JOSS-STICKS, n.Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagantomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.

JUSTICE, n.A commodity which is a more or less adulterated conditionthe State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxesand personal service.