Z

ZANY, n.A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated withludicrous incompetence the _buffone_, or clown, and was therefore theape of an ape; for the clown himself imitated the serious charactersof the play.The zany was progenitor to the specialist in humor, aswe to-day have the unhappiness to know him.In the zany we see anexample of creation; in the humorist, of transmission.Anotherexcellent specimen of the modern zany is the curate, who apes therector, who apes the bishop, who apes the archbishop, who apes thedevil.

ZANZIBARI, n.An inhabitant of the Sultanate of Zanzibar, off theeastern coast of Africa.The Zanzibaris, a warlike people, are bestknown in this country through a threatening diplomatic incident thatoccurred a few years ago.The American consul at the capital occupieda dwelling that faced the sea, with a sandy beach between.Greatly tothe scandal of this official's family, and against repeatedremonstrances of the official himself, the people of the citypersisted in using the beach for bathing.One day a woman came downto the edge of the water and was stooping to remove

her attire (a pairof sandals) when the consul, incensed beyond restraint, fired a chargeof bird-shot into the most conspicuous part of her person. Unfortunately for the existing _entente cordiale_ between two greatnations, she was the Sultana.

ZEAL, n.A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young andinexperienced.A passion that goeth before a sprawl.

When Zeal sought Gratitude for his reward He went away exclaiming:"O my Lord!" "What do you want?" the Lord asked, bending down. "An ointment for my cracked and bleeding crown."

Jum Coople

ZENITH, n.The point in the heavens directly overhead to a manstanding or a growing cabbage.A man in bed or a cabbage in the potis not considered as having a zenith, though from this view of thematter there was once a considerably dissent among the learned, someholding that the posture of the body was immaterial.These werecalled Horizontalists, their opponents, Verticalists.TheHorizontalist heresy was finally extinguished by Xanobus, thephilosopher-king of Abara, a zealous Verticalist.Entering anassembly of philosophers who were debating the matter, he cast asevered human head at the feet of his opponents and asked them todetermine its zenith, explaining that its body was hanging by theheels outside.Observing that it was the head of their leader, theHorizontalists hastened to profess themselves converted to whateveropinion the Crown might be pleased to hold, and Horizontalism took itsplace among _fides defuncti_.

ZEUS, n.The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiterand by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog.Some explorerswho have touched upon the shores of America, and one who professes tohave penetrated a considerable distance to the interior, have thoughtthat these four names stand for as many distinct deities, but in hismonumental work on Surviving Faiths, Frumpp insists that the nativesare monotheists, each having no other god than himself, whom heworships under many sacred names.

ZIGZAG, v.t.To move forward uncertainly, from side to side, as onecarrying the white man's burden.(From _zed_, _z_, and _jag_,

anIcelandic word of unknown meaning.)

He zedjagged so uncomen wyde Thet non coude pas on eyder syde; So, to com saufly thruh, I been Constreynet for to doodge betwene.

Munwele

ZOOLOGY, n.The science and history of the animal kingdom, includingits king, the House Fly (_Musca maledicta_).The father of Zoologywas Aristotle, as is universally conceded, but the name of its motherhas not come down to us.Two of the science's most illustriousexpounders were Buffon and Oliver Goldsmith, from both of whom welearn (_L'Histoire generale des animaux_ and _A History of AnimatedNature_) that the domestic cow sheds its horn every two years.