ACT I.
SCENE I. London. A Street.
[Enter, at one end, John Lincoln, with the two Bettses together; at the other end, enters Francis de Barde and Doll a lusty woman, he haling her by the arm.]
DOLL. Whether wilt thou hale me?
BARDE. Whether I please; thou art my prize, and I plead purchase of thee.
DOLL. Purchase of me! away, ye rascal! I am an honest plain carpenters wife, and though I have no beauty to like a husband, yet whatsoever is mine scorns to stoop to a stranger: hand off, then, when I bid thee!
BARDE. Go with me quietly, or I'll compel thee.
DOLL. Compel me, ye dog's face! thou thinkst thou hast the goldsmith's wife in hand, whom thou enticedst from her husband with all his plate, and when thou turndst her home to him again, madst him, like an ass, pay for his wife's board.
BARDE. So will I make thy husband too, if please me.
[Enter Caveler with a pair of doves; Williamson the carpenter, and Sherwin following him.]
DOLL. Here he comes himself; tell him so, if thou darst. CAVELER. Follow me no further; I say thou shalt not have them.
WILLIAMSON. I bought them in Cheapside, and paid my money for them.
SHERWIN. He did, sir, indeed; and you offer him wrong, both to take them from him, and not restore him his money neither.
CAVELER. If he paid for them, let it suffice that I possess them: beefs and brews may serve such hinds; are pigeons meat for a coarse carpenter?
LINCOLN. It is hard when Englishmen's patience must be thus jetted on by strangers, and they not dare to revenge their own wrongs.
GEORGE. Lincoln, let's beat them down, and bear no more of these abuses.
LINCOLN. We may not, Betts: be patient, and hear more.
DOLL. How now, husband! what, one stranger take they food from
thee, and another thy wife! by our Lady, flesh and blood, I think, can hardly brook that.
LINCOLN. Will this gear never be otherwise? must these wrongs be thus endured?
GEORGE. Let us step in, and help to revenge their injury.
BARDE. What art thou that talkest of revenge? my lord ambassador shall once more make your Major have a check, if he punish thee for this saucy presumption.
WILLIAMSON. Indeed, my lord Mayor, on the ambassador's complaint, sent me to Newgate one day, because (against my will) I took the wall of a stranger: you may do any thing; the goldsmith's wife and mine now must be at your commandment.
GEORGE. The more patient fools are ye both, to suffer it.
BARDE. Suffer it! mend it thou or he, if ye can or dare. I tell thee, fellows, and she were the Mayor of London's wife, had I her once in my possession, I would keep her in spite of him that durst say nay.
GEORGE. I tell thee, Lombard, these words should cost thy best cape, were I not curbed by duty and obedience: the Mayor of London's wife! Oh God, shall it be thus?
DOLL. Why, Betts, am not I as dear t m husband as my lord Mayor's wife to him? and wilt thou so neglectly suffer thine own shame?--Hands off, proud stranger! or, by him that bought me, if men's milky hearts dare not strike a stranger, yet women beat them down, ere they bear these abuses.
BARDE. Mistress, I say you shall along with me.
DOLL. Touch not Doll Williamson, least she lay thee along on God's dear earth.--And you, sir [To Caveler], that allow such coarse cates to carpenters, whilst pigeons, which they pay for, must serve your dainty appetite, deliver them back to my husband again, or I'll call so many women to mine assistance as will not leave one inch untorn of thee: if our husbands must be bridled by law, and forced to bear your wrongs, their wives will be a little lawless, and soundly beat ye.
CAVELER. Come away, De Barde, and let us go complain to my lord ambassador.
[Exeunt Ambo.]
DOLL. Aye, go, and send him among us, and we'll give him his welcome too.--I am ashamed that freeborn Englishmen, having beaten strangers within their own homes, should thus be braved and abused by them at home.
SHERWIN. It is not our lack of courage in the cause, but the strict obedience that we are bound to. I am the goldsmith whose wrongs you talked of; but how to redress yours or mine own is a matter beyond our abilities.
LINCOLN. Not so, not so, my good friends: I, though a mean man, a broker by profession, and named John Lincoln, have long time winked at these wild enormities with mighty impatience, and, as these two brethren here (Betts by name) can witness, with loss of mine own life would gladly remedy them.
GEORGE. And he is in a good forwardness, I tell ye, if all hit right. DOLL. As how, I prithee? tell it to Doll Williamson.
LINCOLN. You know the Spittle sermons begin the next week: I have drawn a bill of our wrongs and the strangers' insolences.
GEORGE. Which he means the preachers shall there openly publish in the pulpit.
WILLIAMSON. Oh, but that they would! yfaith, it would tickle our strangers thoroughly.
DOLL. Aye, and if you men durst not undertake it, before God, we women would. Take an honest woman from her husband! why, it is intolerable.
SHERWIN. But how find ye the preachers affected to our proceeding? LINCOLN. Master Doctor Standish hath answered that it becomes not him to move any such thing in his sermon, and tells us we must move the Mayor and aldermen to reform it, and doubts not but happy success will ensue on statement of our wrongs. You shall perceive there's no hurt in the
bill: here's a couple of it; I pray ye, hear it.
ALL. With all our hearts; for God's sake, read it.
LINCOLN. [Reads.] To you all, the worshipful lords and masters of this city, that will take compassion over the poor people your neighbors,
and also of the great importable hurts, losses, and hinderances, whereof proceedeth extreme poverty to all the king's subjects that inhabit within this city and suburbs of the same: for so it is that aliens and strangers eat the bread from the fatherless children, and take the living from all the artificers and the intercourse from all the merchants, whereby poverty is so much increased, that every man bewaileth the misery of other; for craftsmen be brought to beggary, and merchants to neediness: wherefore, the premises considered, the redress must be of the common knit and united to one part: and as the hurt and damage grieveth all men, so must all men see to their willing power for remedy, and not suffer the said aliens in their wealth, and the natural born men of this region to come to confusion.
DOLL. Before God, tis excellent; and I'll maintain the suit to be honest.
SHERWIN. Well, say tis read, what is your further meaning in the matter?
GEORGE. What! marry, list to me. No doubt but this will store us with friends enow, whose names we will closely keep in writing; and on May day next in the morning we'll go forth a Maying, but make it the worst May day for the strangers that ever they saw. How say ye? do ye subscribe, or are ye faint-hearted revolters?
DOLL. Hold thee, George Betts, there's my hand and my heart: by the Lord, I'll make a captain among ye, and do somewhat to be talk of for ever after.
WILLIAMSON. My masters, ere we part, let's friendly go and drink together, and swear true secrecy upon our lives.
GEORGE. There spake an angel. Come, let us along, then. [Exeunt.]
SCENE II. London. The Sessions House.
[An arras is drawn, and behind it as in sessions sit the Lord Mayor, Justice Suresby, and other Justices; Sheriff More and the other Sheriff sitting by. Smart is the plaintiff, Lifter the prisoner at the bar. Recorder, Officers.]
LORD MAYOR. Having dispatched our weightier businesses, We may give ear to petty felonies. Master Sheriff More, what is this fellow?
MORE. My lord, he stands indicted for a purse; He hath been tried, the jury is together.
LORD MAYOR. Who sent him in?
SURESBY. That did I, my lord: Had he had right, he had been hanged ere this; The only captain of the cutpurse crew.
LORD MAYOR. What is his name?
SURESBY. As his profession is, Lifter, my lord, One that can lift a purse right cunningly.
LORD MAYOR. And is that he accuses him?
SURESBY. The same, my lord, whom, by your honors leave, I must say somewhat too, because I find In some respects he is well worthy blame.
LORD MAYOR. Good Master Justice Suresby, speak your mind; We are well pleased to give you audience.
SURESBY. Hear me, Smart; thou art a foolish fellow: If Lifter be convicted by the law, As I see not how the jury can acquit him, I'll stand too 't thou art guilty of his death.
MORE. My lord, that's worthy the hearing. LORD MAYOR. Listen, then, good Master More.
SURESBY. I tell thee plain, it is a shame for thee, With such a sum to tempt necessity; No less than ten pounds, sir, will serve your turn, To carry in your purse about with ye, To crake and brag in taverns of your money: I promise ye, a man that goes abroad With an intent of truth, meeting such a booty, May be provoked to that he never meant. What makes so many pilferers and felons, But such fond baits that foolish people lay To tempt the needy miserable wretch? Ten pounds, odd money; this is a pretty sum
To bear about, which were more safe at home. Fore God, twere well to fine ye as much more
[Lord Mayor and More whisper.]
To the relief of the poor prisoners, To teach ye be more careful of your own, In sooth, I say ye were but rightly served, If ye had lost as much as twice ten pounds.
MORE. Good my lord, sooth a point or two for once, Only to try conclusions in this case.
LORD MAYOR. Content, good Master More: we'll rise awhile, And, till the jury can return their verdict, Walk in the garden.--How say ye, Justices?
ALL. We like it well, my lord; we'll follow ye. [Exeunt Lord Mayor and Justices.]
MORE. Nay, plaintiff, go you too;--and officers, [Exeunt Smart.]
Stand you aside, and leave the prisoner To me awhile.--Lifter, come hither.
LIFTER. What is your worship's pleasure?
MORE. Sirrah, you know that you are known to me, And I have often saved ye from this place, Since first I came in office: thou seest beside, That Justice Suresby is thy heavy friend, By all the blame that he pretends to Smart, For tempting thee with such a sum of money. I tell thee what; devise me but a means To pick or cut his purse, and, on my credit, And as I am a Christian and a man, I will procure they pardon for that jest.
LIFTER. Good Master Shrieve, seek not my overthrow: You know, sir, I have many heavy friends, And more indictments like to come upon me. You are too deep for me to deal withal; You are known to be one of the wisest men That is in England: I pray ye, Master Sheriff, Go not about to undermine my life.
MORE. Lifter, I am true subject to my king; Thou much mistake me: and, for thou shall not think I mean by this to hurt thy life at all, I will maintain the act when thou hast done it. Thou knowest there are such matters in my hands, As if I pleased to give them to the jury, I should not need this way to circumvent thee. All that I aim at is a merry jest: Perform
it, Lifter, and expect my best.
LIFTER. I thank your worship: God preserve your life! But Master Justice Suresby is gone in; I know not how to come near where he is.
MORE. Let me alone for that; I'll be thy setter; I'll send him hither to thee presently, Under the colour of thine own request, Of private matters to acquaint him with.
LIFTER. If ye do so, sir, then let me alone; Forty to one but then his purse is gone.
MORE. Well said: but see that thou diminish not One penny of the money, but give it me; It is the cunning act that credits thee.
LIFTER. I will, good Master Sheriff, I assure ye. [Exeunt More.]
I see the purpose of this gentleman Is but to check the folly of the Justice, For blaming others in a desperate case, Wherein himself may fall as soon as any. To save my life, it is a good adventure: Silence there, ho! now doth the Justice enter.
[Enter Justice Suresby.]
SURESBY. Now, sirrah, now, what is your will with me? Wilt thou discharge thy conscience like an honest man? What sayest to me, sirrah? be brief, be brief.
LIFTER. As brief, sir, as I can.-- [Aside.] If ye stand fair, I will be brief anon.
SURESBY. Speak out, and mumble not; what sayest thou, sirrah?
LIFTER. Sir, I am charged, as God shall be my comfort, With more than's true.
SURESBY. Sir, sir, ye are indeed, with more than's true, For you are flatly charged with felony; You're charged with more than truth, and that is theft; More than a true man should be charged withal; Thou art a varlet, that's no more than true. Trifle not with me; do not, do not, sirrah; Confess but what thou knowest, I ask no more. LIFTER. There be, sir, there be, if't shall please your worship--
SURESBY. There be, varlet! what be there? tell me what there be.
Come off or on: there be! what be there, knave?
LIFTER. There be, sir, diverse very cunning fellows, That, while you
stand and look them in the face, Will have your purse.
SURESBY. Th'art an honest knave: Tell me what are they? where they may be caught? Aye, those are they I look for.
LIFTER. You talk of me, sir; Alas, I am a puny! there's one indeed Goes by my name, he puts down all for purses; He'll steal your worship's purse under your nose.
SURESBY. Ha, ha! Art thou so sure, varlet? Well, well, Be as familiar as thou wilt, my knave; Tis this I long to know.
LIFTER. And you shall have your longing ere ye go.-- This fellow, sir, perhaps will meet ye thus, Or thus, or thus, and in kind complement Pretend acquaintance, somewhat doubtfully; And these embraces serve--
SURESBY. Aye, marry, Lifter, wherefor serve they? [Shrugging gladly.]
LIFTER. Only to feel Whether you go full under sail or no, Or that your lading be aboard your bark.
SURESBY. In plainer English, Lifter, if my purse Be stored or no? LIFTER. Ye have it, sir.
SURESBY. Excellent, excellent.
LIFTER. Then, sir, you cannot but for manner's sake Walk on with him; for he will walk your way, Alleging either you have much forgot him, Or he mistakes you.
SURESBY. But in this time has he my purse or no?
LIFTER. Not yet, sir, fie!-- [Aside.} No, nor I have not yours.-- [Enter Lord Mayor, &c.]
But now we must forbear; my lords return.
SURESBY. A murren on't!--Lifter, we'll more anon: Aye, thou sayest true, there are shrewd knaves indeed:
[He sits down.]
But let them gull me, widgen me, rook me, fop me! Yfaith, yfaith, they are too short for me. Knaves and fools meet when purses go: Wise men look to their purses well enough.
MORE. [Aside.] Lifter, is it done?
LIFTER. [Aside.] Done, Master Shreeve; and there it is. MORE. [Aside.] Then build upon my word. I'll save thy life.
RECORDER. Lifter, stand to the bar: The jury have returned the guilty; thou must die, According to the custom.--Look to it, Master Shreeve.
LORD MAYOR. Then, gentlemen, as you are wont to do, Because as yet we have no burial place, What charity your meaning's to bestow Toward burial of the prisoners now condemned, Let it be given. There is first for me.
RECORDER. And there for me. ANOTHER. And me.
SURESBY. Body of me, my purse is gone! MORE. Gone, sir! what, here! how can that be?
LORD MAYOR. Against all reason, sitting on the bench. SURESBY. Lifter, I talked with you; you have not lifted me? ha! LIFTER. Suspect ye me, sir? Oh, what a world is this!
MORE. But hear ye, master Suresby; are ye sure Ye had a purse about
ye?
SURESBY. Sure, Master Shrieve! as sure as you are there, And in it
seven pounds, odd money, on my faith.
MORE. Seven pounds, odd money! what, were you so mad, Being a wise man and a magistrate, To trust your purse with such a liberal sum? Seven pounds, odd money! fore God, it is a shame, With such a sum to tempt necessity: I promise ye, a man that goes abroad With an intent of truth, meeting such a booty, May be wrought to that he never thought. What makes so many pilferers and felons, But these fond baits that foolish people lay To tempt the needy miserable wretch? Should he be taken now that has your purse, I'd stand to't, you are guilty of his death; For, questionless, he would be cast by law. Twere a good deed to fine ye as much more, To the relief of the poor prisoners, To teach ye lock your money up at home.
SURESBY. Well, Master More, you are a merry man; I find ye, sir, I find ye well enough.
MORE. Nay, ye shall see, sir, trusting thus your money, And Lifter here in trial for like case, But that the poor man is a prisoner, It would be now suspected that he had it. Thus may ye see what mischief often comes By the fond carriage of such needless sums.
LORD MAYOR. Believe me, Master Suresby, this is strange, You, being a man so settled in assurance, Will fall in that which you condemned in other.
MORE. Well, Master Suresby, there's your purse again, And all your money: fear nothing of More; Wisdom still keeps the mean and locks the door.
SCENE III. London. A state apartment.
[Enter the Earls of Shrewsbury and Surrey, Sir Thomas Palmer, and Sir Roger Cholmley.]
SHREWSBURY. My lord of Surrey, and Sir Thomas Palmer Might I with patience tempt your grave advise, I tell ye true, that in these dangerous times I do not like this frowning vulgar brow: My searching eye did never entertain A more distracted countenance of grief Than I have late observed In the displeased commons of the city.
SURREY. Tis strange that from his princely clemency, So well a tempered mercy and a grace, To all the aliens in this fruitful land, That this high-crested insolence should spring From them that breathe from his majestic bounty, That, fattened with the traffic of our country, Already leaps into his subject's face.
PALMER. Yet Sherwin, hindered to commence his suit Against De Barde by the ambassador, By supplication made unto the king, Who having first enticed away his wife, And got his plate, near worth four hundred pound, To grieve some wronged citizens that found This vile disgrace oft cast into their teeth, Of late sues Sherwin, and arrested him For money for the boarding of his wife.
SURREY. The more knave Barde, that, using Sherwin's goods, Doth ask him interest for the occupation. I like not that, my lord of Shrewsbury: He's ill bested that lends a well paced horse Unto a man that will not find him meet. CHOLMLEY. My lord of Surrey will be pleasant still.
PALMER. Aye, being then employed by your honors To stay the broil that fell about the same, Where by persuasion I enforced the wrongs, And urged the grief of the displeased city, He answered me, and with a solemn oath, That, if he had the Mayor of London's wife, He would keep her in despite of any English.
SURREY. Tis good, Sir Thomas, then, for you and me; Your wife is dead, and I a bachelor: If no man can possess his wife alone, I am glad, Sir Thomas Palmer, I have none.
CHOLMLEY. If a take a wife, a shall find her meet.
SURREY. And reason good, Sir Roger Cholmley, too. If these hot
Frenchmen needsly will have sport, They should in kindness yet defray the charge: Tis hard when men possess our wives in quiet, And yet leave us in, to discharge their diet.
SHREWSBURY. My lord, our catours shall not use the market For our provision, but some stranger now Will take the vittailes from him he hath bought: A carpenter, as I was late informed, Who having bought a pair of doves in Cheap, Immediately a Frenchman took them from him, And beat the poor man for resisting him; And when the fellow did complain his wrongs, He was severely punished for his labor.
SURREY. But if the English blood be once but up, As I perceive their hearts already full, I fear me much, before their spleens be cold, Some of these saucy aliens for their pride Will pay for 't soundly, wheresoere it lights: This tide of rage that with the eddy strives, I fear me much, will drown too many lives.
CHOLMLEY. Now, afore God, your honors, pardon me: Men of your place and greatness are to blame. I tell ye true, my lords, in that his majesty Is not informed of this base abuse And daily wrongs are offered to his subjects; For, if he were, I know his gracious wisdom Would soon redress it.
[Enter a Messenger.] SHREWSBURY. Sirrah, what news? CHOLMLEY. None good, I fear.
MESSENGER. My lord, ill news; and worse, I fear, will follow, If speedily it be not looked unto: The city is in an uproar, and the Mayor Is threatened, if he come out of his house. A number poor artificers are up In arms and threaten to avenge their wrongs.
CHOLMLEY. We feared what this would come unto: This follows on the doctors publishing The bill of wrongs in public at the Spittle.
SHREWSBURY. That Doctor Beale may chance beshrew himself For reading of the bill.
PALMER. Let us go gather forces to the Mayor, For quick suppressing this rebellious route.
SURREY. Now I bethink myself of Master More, One of the sheriffs, a wise and learned gentleman, And in especial favour with the people: He,
backed with other grave and sober men, May by his gentle and persuasive speech Perhaps prevail more than we can with power.
SHREWSBURY. Believe me, but your honor well advises: Let us make haste; for I do greatly fear Some of their graves this morning's work will bear.
[Exeunt.]